


The spider that looked human

by Marble_Spider



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Actual OC Spider characters, Actual spider characters, Actual spider!Harry Osborn, Alive!Ben Parker with a twist, Alive!May Parker with a twist, Almost outside sex, Almost roof sex, Awesome Uncle Clint, Bucky is in a relationship with Steve and Nat, Consensual Polygamy, Coulson and Hawkeye are married, Crazy!Wade Wilson, F/M, Good boyfriend Wade, Growing up Peter Parker, Hero turned dark!Peter, M/M, Multi, My First Smut, My First Spideypool Fic, Nat and Steve are just bros, Organic!webs, POV Alternating, POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Peter eats lizards and sleeps in a web, Peter has major anxiety due to his spidey-sense, Peter has venom and fangs, Peter hates beds, Peter with glasses, Sappy!Wade Wilson, Sorta dark!Wade Wilson, Will Add More Later, Young Peter Parker, dark!Peter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-09-29 23:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17212484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marble_Spider/pseuds/Marble_Spider
Summary: Peter Parker was kidnapped from his biological father, Tony Stark, as an infant and raised by a cult that despises superheroes. While there he is bitten by a spider altered by the cult‘s own scientists, afterwards he begins to change. Becoming more spider than boy, after all what kind of human can spin webs, has fangs and venom, and hear for two miles? As a result young impressionable Peter becomes the focus of their demented views and is abused by them and their experiments. Fearful for her only child’s safety,  Peter’s mother finally whisks him away and into hiding placing him with a nice couple going by May and Ben Parker. Years later Peter, now 18, has become a super hero himself. Though maybe not the most friendly or neighborly of heroes. In his quest to find his biological parents, without his guardians’ approval, leads him to a dive bar where he meets Wade Wilson, the famous merc with a mouth, Peter entrusts Wade with his tale and intrigued the merc decided this is one adventure he’d like to see the end of. This meeting leads to a team up neither of them saw coming.





	1. Peter: Recounting the past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slowquicksilver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowquicksilver/gifts), [MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/gifts).



> Disclaimer:
> 
> I own nothing besides the original characters that I make as well as the spider suit and the hero/villian name Peter goes by!!!! If I did then Pepper would be dead and everyone would be partially or mainly gay depending on the ship I put them in!!!! Also this is my first fic ever so.....yeah.

Peter was a spider. No matter how many times his Aunt and Uncle told him otherwise, Peter knew he was a spider. He had evidence, for Arachne's sake!

_For instance he hated_ beds; they were annoying and stuffed full of cotton and springs that made squeaking noises, like he was sleeping on a bunch of mice.

He also could create webs. And who else could make webs? Spiders! That's who. Granted, his came out of small glands on his wrists instead of his abdomen, but still!

Let’s not forget to mention the venom that filled his mouth and the fangs that came with when he was angry.

Now, all of this isn't to say that his Aunt and Uncle weren't _wrong_ per se, because when Peter looked in the mirror, he was very much human. His light colored skin, curly brown hair and dark brown eyes had shown that perfectly. He even used dorky, human-made glasses because all spiders (including him) were either nearsighted or blind. He admitted that that part sort of sucked, but it was made up for by his excellent hearing. Normal spiders had hair on their legs to hear things but Peter had ears. Normal, stupid _human_ ears that used spider hearing.

So: human outside; spider inside. Kinda weird, right?

He was used to weird, being a ten year old homeschooled kid with no friends. Well, he had one friend, but they weren't human. He had a black widow spider named Harry; his first and only friend.

Peter had saved Harry after Uncle Ben had almost killed the poor guy. Then Harry ungratefully bit him afterwards, which sent Uncle Ben into a panicked tirade on why the small spider had to die.

“Black widows are dangerous! You need to go to the hospital! They’re poisonous… May is going to kill me now… only two months after Margie had brought you home from that place and you die from a black widow!” He tutted as he reached for his keys, then stopped. “Oh, wait, we can't take you to the hospital… May works there… but if we don't take you, then you'll die, and that's bad too, I guess!” he grunted, throwing his hands in the air.

After Peter had calmed his uncle down and explained that he wasn't hurt (Seriously, Uncle Ben, did you forget about the super healing?), he decided to keep the widow as a pet - even after the small biting incident. It was only a few minutes later when Peter jumped into his web that covered the right wall of his room on a few inches of thick, webby padding that he realized the widow could talk. Maybe talk wasn't exactly the right word, since Peter mainly heard it in his head, but the small widow was making noises, so Peter would call iit talking to anyone who asked.

**/Why do you have a bed? That’s what the swatters call them, right? Those soft flat things that you’re supposed to sleep on. You use a web like me, though. And you smell like me, but you look like them. It's strange./**

“I'm weird.” Peter explained. The widow hopped off of him and onto the web. Peter turned onto his side just as his new companion was skittering up to his eyesight. “I used to live in a really bad place with my mom… or at least, I think she was my mom. I don't remember much about it, other than getting hurt. My aunt and uncle don't like to talk about it.” He turned on his side a little, as if to curl himself around his new friend. “I don't think I used to be a spider. I think I used to be completely human. But then I remember going outside this weird place and Nena was there. She was a real spider like you. She didn't look like you though. She bit me, but I’m pretty sure it was an accident. Kinda like you when you bit me!” He giggled. “Anyway, she bit me, and then the spider stuff happened. She taught me how to make webs and things. But then she died because she got too old and the other humans did some weird stuff to her that made her weak. After that,my mom took me away from the bad place and brought me here to my aunt and uncle. They aren't my real aunt and uncle though. They were my mom's old friends who took me in when she left me here a couple months ago. I think she went back to the bad place after leaving me here. I heard Uncle Ben say that she was maybe dead because someone took them down. I guess I should be sad about it since she was my mom, but the only time she acted like it was when they put me with her to do chores. Otherwise she acted like she either didn't like me or didn't know me at all.” Peter glanced down, petting Harry’s little legs. “I guess she felt bad when they started hurting me, because then she brought me here. I know they did bad things but they didn't do it to me until Nena bit me and turned me into this. The rest of the time I was with the other kids doing regular school stuff. They only taught the older kids the bad stuff. I think I made myself forget about everything once they started hurting me.” He explained quietly while getting lost in partial memories. He furrowed his brows in confusion as he remembered the spider's silent words. “Wait… what are swatters?”

**/Strange. The only thing that happens when I bite swatters is they get poisoned. I wonder what was wrong with this Nena to make her turn you into her hatchling./** The spider replied while contemplating the boy's face. With an annoyed turn the spider quickly replied.

**/Swatters are what we spiders call you humans. Honestly, didn't she teach you anything about spider culture? So, back to the question at claw, why do you not like beds?/** The widow asked while he started making a small thatch of webs for himself onto Peter's own web.

“I think the real question is, how can I understand you? I've tried talking to other spiders before but so far it was only Nena, and now you. Maybe it's because you both bit me? So what happens when you bite people? Your venom comes out and goes into them. They get trembly. You take your fangs out and OH! Blood! It's my blood! You ingest some afterwards,”  Peter rambled on trying to solve the problem.

“MY BLOOD LETS ME TALK TO SPIDERS!” He yelled excitedly at the top of his lungs forgetting he wasn't alone.

“Peter keep it down!” He heard being yelled from down stairs although with his super hearing it sounded like it was right next to him.

“Sorry!” he yelled back in reply. He turned back to his friend.

“Beds feel weird and sound like mice so I don't like them. Webs feel more natural and secure anyway. They bought me that when I first got here and I haven't used it since. I used to sleep on the ground with my mom, but that felt weird too,” he whispered the reply to his new friend.

So, five years old and his one and only friend was a black widow spider that he had named Harry Osborn. He realized that spiders didn't have names, so naturally Peter had felt the need to give him one. At first it was just Harry, but then the widow had pointed out that it was unfair that he only got one name and Peter had two. Peter really didn't want to tell him about his middle name and had kept it at that. So after looking at a piece on Oscorp industries in a magazine, Peter and Harry had decided on the last name of Osborn, after Norman Osborn, the head of Oscorp.

Other than learning his blood gave spiders the ability to talk to him - or as Harry put it: gave Peter the ability to _listen_ to them (because not everything is about **you** Peter) - they also learned that Peter couldn't talk back inside his head. He could only talk to Harry, or other spiders, out loud like a normal boring person, but that was fine, because everyone talked to their friends that way. His aunt and uncle called Harry his pet, which Harry and Peter both felt insulted about, despite Peter claiming that very thing when they first met. Sure, at first Peter had called him that and had meant it, but now Harry was more like his friend. After all, Peter didn't clean up after him or give him food since he hunted things himself. Okay, hunted was a strong word, because Harry just waited for flies or other bugs to fly into Peter's web then spun them up, waited, and eventually ate them.

__________________________________________________________

Now at age ten, after years of homeschooling, Peter had finally convinced his aunt and uncle to let him go to an actual public school. Granted, it was an all boys school, but a school nonetheless. In order to do so, Peter had to promise to NEVER use his webs in front of people and the guest bedroom had been made up to look like Peter's “real” bedroom in case he wanted to bring any friends over, since they understood that Peter was emotionally attached to his web. Aunt May had tried to tear it down once when he was seven because he wasn't cleaning his nest and his human bed was filthy, but that only resulted in Peter screaming at the top of his lungs and almost having a mental breakdown, though Uncle Ben had claimed it was just a giant temper tantrum.  May hadn't been so certain as she saw the way he trembled along with the look of helplessness in his eyes. He was then given a key to his actual nest and was told to keep it locked during school. That way, it would be, and there wouldn't be any accidents with any new friends finding his nest. The only time he unlocked it was when he was ready to go to sleep, so he had clothes and electronics in both rooms, with more important things in his nest.

“Freeloader,” Peter said while momentarily pausing putting things in his backpack to watch the new fly struggle in their web.

**/Not really. I did make a network for myself down there./** The arachnid commented while motioning to the small cobweb in the corner underneath Peter's own giant web. **/It's not my fault that yours is bigger and has better work put into it. This thing takes up half the room now and completely covers the window. How am I supposed to hunt if the window is closed?/** Harry hissed out rudely.

Sighing loudly, Peter picked his backpack up off the desk where his bed used to be, which was now in his fake bedroom along with another desk and his laptop. “We've already talked about this, Harry. May said we couldn't leave the window open all the time because it makes the electricity bill go up. After Uncle Ben caught us doing it last time, he threatened to board it up completely. So no open windows.”

**/Fine, but I demand you make a human friend at school. May and Ben are worried about you and don't talk to the other spiders at school because you'll get in trouble./**

“That's going to be the hardest part!” he shouted while walking downstairs while the smell of pancakes wafted through the air. 

“Do you have your books?” May asked when she saw him on the bottom step. She was wearing a white button top on along with jeans and black boots today. Her long brown hair was twisted into a bun. “Yes,” Peter replied, setting his book bag down on a chair at the table while he sat in the other and waited patiently for his pancakes. Peter glanced at May again and saw that her huntsman spider Lyla was on her shoulder whispering to her.

Watching them, Peter was reminded of when Lyla came home. She had followed May home from work one night, hid in their house somewhere and had gone unnoticed until the next morning when Peter woke up to her standing on his chest. “Uh, hello. Please don't bite me.” Peter pleaded quickly.

**~I'm not going to bite you. You smell like me. It's interesting.~**

Peter's blood curdling scream filled the house as he flung himself up his web to get away from the intruder. The huntsman spider bounced off of his chest and onto the floor as Harry came out of his web tunnel behind Peter. He skittered around frantically while searching for threats and finally landed on the intruder.

**/What happened? Are you dead? Is someone dead? Is it Ben? Please don't let it be Ben! We like Ben, Peter! What? Who? Who is that?/**

Frantic running could be heard from down the hall. He somehow managed to note that both of his guardians were home currently. Typically it was one or the other since they worked a lot but one always managed to stay with Peter and alternated trips away.

“What happened?!”

“Are you alright?!”

“I thought we lived in a gun free home!!” Peter yelled at them both from at the top of his ceiling with his feet still arched on his web and was staring at them with his mouth agape.

“We do!" 

“What? No, we don't.”

“Yes. We. Do.”

“We literally have false bottoms on all the drawers and cabinets in this house for our weapons.”

“THEY'RE FALSE FOR A REASON!! HE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THEM, BEN!!”

Peter watched as his aunt and uncle argued loudly. He was somehow on the middle of the ceiling directly above the wolf spider and staring at them in horror even though he didn't remember moving from his web.

“HEY!!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN??!! WHY DO YOU HAVE…. WHAT IS THAT THING??!!” He screamed at them from his spot.

“I thought someone was trying to kill you,” May replied at the same time that Ben explained, “It's a stun baton.” They both tried to stay calm and failed miserably.

“Okay, so we apparently do not live in a gun free home, thanks for that knowledge. I hope you have a couple safes because those guns are going in one and bullets are going in another. If I have to show restraint on my spider stuff, then you two have to be law abiding citizens when it comes to guns. Also can we _please_ focus on the giant wolf spider that woke me up and then talked to me. Please. I am _seriously_ freaking out up here.”

**/Why are you freaking out that she talked to you? I talk to you all the time Pete./**

“I'm used to you talking to me! I can't talk to other spiders or at least I didn't think I could! I mean sometimes I hear stuff in my head that sounds like someone else but I thought that was normal. Oh my god I can talk to spiders! Why did I not realize this before? Why did they not realize it?!”

Ben sighed and turned off his stun baton while May lowered her gun and came inside the room. “Okay why don't you come down and we can ask figure this out. We already know that your blood does things to spiders. Harry should've been dead years ago. Black widows typically only live to be three years old and he said he was two when you met him which means he's four now. Maybe when he bit you it opened up a new ability and you didn't realize it.” May replied soothingly. Ben walked over to Peter's  bookshelf and grabbed his stuffed tarantula doll Sparky. “They look similar.” He remarked as he sat near the wolf spider.

Peter spun a strand of web down from the ceiling and sat with them opening his hand for Harry to hop onto. He felt the familiar tingle of his friend's legs on his body as the spider climbed up to his neck and crouched down eyeing the wolf spider warily.

**/I already told you that you could understand us when we first met. It wasn't that we suddenly had the ability to understand you but you suddenly had the ability to understand us. Spiders don't think humans understand us and you thought you could only understand me so you tuned the others out but if you focus you could eavesdrop on their conversations./**

“I thought you were just thinking I was conceited and I'm not going to eavesdrop! That's rude!”

**/How does a seven year old know that big of a word?/**

“I memorized the dictionary for fun. I was bored last week.”

“You finished the dictionary in a week?” Replied Ben who was now making Sparky dance in front of the wolf spider.

“No. I finished it in three days but I found some favorites and wanted to make sure I could use them alot. Conceited is one of them.”

“So what does this new spider want? Also if we're going to have more spiders in the house I think it's only fair that Ben and I get to understand them too.”

“She said I smelled like her and how do you know I can make something like that Aunt May?”

Chuckling lightly she replied, “Peter you once were certain there was buried treasure in the yard so you made a hologram cube out of computer parts and a toaster so you could find it and not damage anything.”

“Besides the toaster… I loved that toaster. It made toast with Captain America's face on it.” Uncle Ben replied while pouting.

So after a ton of trial and error Peter eventually made a small spider necklace that resembled a black widow for May and a ring with Captain America’s shield on top for Ben. Both had small chips inside them that translated spider speech that then got turned to May and Ben's brain waves so that it created an artificial telepathy. Since most spiders didn't expect people to understand them then it became easier for the Parker's to tune out the whispers and focus on their companions. After a few days of watching the humans Lyla decided that she liked May best and to stay near her. Somehow she even got on her business trips with her. Peter wasn't sure how the hospital felt about a wolf spider accompanying his aunt everywhere but she hadn't complained about them not liking her yet so he didn't worry. A few days later Uncle Ben had befriended a jumping spider that had made a home in the corner of the oven range. He had decided to name her Piper because he said she reminded him of Pepper. How the tiny spider reminded him of a spice was beyond him but the name stuck.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts Peter watched Uncle Ben take the pancakes out of the pan and dole them out onto the plates. Due to Peter's high metabolism he got a mountains worth. May had her typical four and Ben had five. Peter's were also twice the size of the others. He secretly thought that Ben was hoping if he made them that big then only three would be eaten but it never worked. Piper hopped off his uncle’s head and onto the middle of the table.

**(Are you ready for school Peter? It's your first day! Isn't that exciting! Oh I think it's so exciting it makes me just want to JUMP!)** The jumping spider lifted off the table towards him just as she spoke the last word and landed on his nose.

“Piper come back over here. Peter needs to leave and so do we.”

**(Awww.)** Pouted the smallest spider but did as she was told.

“That's right we have to go too. Are you ready Lyla?”

**~As always.~**

“Peter remember to sit with someone nice on the bus and don't use your webs. Wear your glasses too. You have an appointment next week to get new ones.” May reminded gently.

“First impressions mean everything kid. No venom either. I know it only happens when you're mad or really hungry but try not to be?” Ben added while momentarily putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing while heading to his seat.

Quickly finishing up their breakfast, Peter basically inhaling his while fumbling with his glasses, they all left the house ready for the day. Peter was excited for his first day but also nervous since Harry wasn't coming with him. May and Ben both heavily agreed weeks ago that since Harry was extremely venomous as well as protective he wasn't allowed to accompany Peter to school. Peter thought it was a highly hypocritical judgement call as far as Aunt May was concerned since wolf spiders were worse than black widows but when he brought it up she pointed out that Lyla doesn't attack unless provoked or told to. Although why she would be told to and how May knew that was another question for another day. So after saying goodbye to his guardians and their companions at the bus stop he got on the bus and froze because he wasn't sure where to sit.


	2. Peter: New friend and revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter goes to school and makes a friend.

Peter stared at all of the kids on the bus and froze in place. He didn't know what to do at all. He had never even seen so many kids before. Kids with spider abilities who freaked out over the wind blowing too hard didn't tend to go out much. His senses were screaming at him to run, make a web, _hide hide hide hide hide_. It was giving him a headache. He was starting to think this was a seriously bad idea. He could still go back home, right?

He hadn't seen Uncle Clint in awhile. Maybe he could come over and play hide and seek. In their version, they only hid in the high places they deemed appropriate. Those changed each time they played, and it was a way for Peter to ignore the distractions in background and focus on either finding his favorite uncle or not getting caught. Sometimes even the cranky weird neighbors next door played with them. To be fair, only the guy with one arm was cranky. The other one was just weird. Who doesn't know what a meme is? It's 2011 now. Dude needed to get with the program.

“Hey! We have to get going kid. Go sit with the kid in seat five on the left,” the bus driver said, just as Peter was about to tell him to let him off.

“Okay…” he managed to whisper out before he walked his own personal death march down the bus. Seat five on the left had a slightly chubby kid in it who was  eating a candy bar.

“I'm Ned. Guess you're sitting with me, huh?” the kid said to him.

“Looks like it.”

“Cool. Want a candy bar? They're Twix,” he offered.

“Sure.” Peter sat down in the seat. Grabbing the offered food with one hand and sticking himself to the back of the seat in front of them with the other grounded him and calmed his senses. That was something else his Uncle Clint had taught him to do.

Most of learning how to use and calm his senses had been through games or trial and error. Once they realized he could stick to walls, Uncle Clint always carried something soft, typically a hacky sack, to throw at him at random to see if he would react. If he did, then it became a game of making sure he wouldn’t and if he didn't, then Peter won and got to choose what they did for the day. He typically got to choose what they did regardless, but it was after something his Uncle wanted to do first.

Eventually they got to school and all got off. Peter knew where to go because his Uncles and Aunt had brought him a few weeks ago and walked him through it. What he didn't realize, however, was how lousy it was going to be. The minute he stepped in the classroom he decided the bus was better. At least there was a semblance of order in there and the driver let them talk quietly. He thought he was going to faint from all the noise until all at once it completely stopped.

“Alright, quiet down!” a voice behind him yelled. The sudden spike in noise made Peter jump a bit but thankfully he didn't make it off the ground this time. After a second, his break caught up and he realised the voice was his teacher Miss Johnson.

“You must be the new student. Peter Parker, right? You can say a few things about yourself if you want or you can go sit by Ned. Ned? Raise your hand please, so he knows where to go.”

Peter glanced around the room and quickly saw that the boy his teacher was referring to was the same one he sat with on the bus. He smiled, opting out of speaking to everyone to go sit in his seat. Once he sat down, Miss Johnson went about with the days lesson, which included math that he already knew. He zoned out for the most part, until Ned got his attention via a paper ball to his head.

He glared at the ball when it bounced off his head and onto his desk and stared at the boy.

“Open it,” he whispered. If it weren't for them being right next to each other (and his super-hearing), Peter May not have heard him.

Peter let out an annoyed grumble that normal people wouldn’t have been able to hear. The paper was filled with a list of questions in jumpy writing that made it look like the boy had been writing while moving...he must have written it on the bus. Peter had been so focused on grounding himself and staying calm that he had zoned out until they got to school. As far as he could tell, the list was all about questions to get to know him. So Peter figured since he already knew the material he'd answer back:

**What's your middle name?**

Isaiah

**When were you born?**

August 10th, 2001

**What's your favorite color?**

Orange

**What do you want to be when you grow up?**

A microbiologist or a superhero

**Who's your favorite Avenger?**

Hawkeye

**How many parents do you have?**

Three….kinda

**Do you think Black Widow is dating any of the Avengers?**

Who’s Black Widow?

Once he was done answering the questions he rolled the ball back up and tossed it back to Ned, hitting the side of his face enough for it to bounce onto his desk like it had previously. Ned covered the paper with his left hand quickly just before the teacher turned around to tell them to turn to a page in their textbooks. Hastily unwrapping the paper the boy started to mouth the words out silently. Peter glanced over at his potential new friend to listen to a whispered reply only to see a look of absolute fury on his face.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO BLACK WIDOW IS???!!!!!”

“Edwin! No yelling in class and no passing notes! I'm assuming you were passing them to Peter? I'll let you off with a warning since he is new but just know, young man, that disobeying the rules further will not be tolerated. Am I understood?” The teacher raised her voice in a stern manner and eyed them like a couple of delinquents.

“Yes,Miss Johnson,” they chirped out simultaneously.

Recess came soon after that and it was an unspoken agreement between the boys once it did. Ned questioned Peter about his parent situation and how he didn't know about Black Widow. Peter explained that his aunt and uncle raised him but his other uncle came over a lot and Peter thought of him as a fun dad. For some reason he felt the need to mention that his aunt and uncle slept in separate rooms. He knew of the Avengers but once they stopped Loki he thought they had just disbanded and faded into the background. They continued talking on the swings to pass the time for the next bell.

“Why did you ask how many parents I have?”

“Huh?” His friend asked while he was stopped on the ground and looking into the distance.

“Oh because I have four parents. My mom and dad split up and my dad started seeing my pop and mom started seeing my other stepdad Oliver.”

Ned started swinging high and squinting like he was trying to look at something.

“Dude I think there's some people on the roof.”

“What? Why would there be people on the roof?”

“I don't know. The sun is kinda in my eyes though so it's hard to see.”

Peter frowned and thought about using his hearing to see if his new friend was right or not. He wasn't supposed to. He knew he wasn't. Aunt May and Uncle Ben had been very clear on that, even Uncle Clint talked to him about it but it wasn't like he was going to tell Ned he could hear them. Peter was more in the shad than Ned was so he could just say that he thought Ned was right.

Peter wanted to impress and agree with his friend so he decided to go through with his plan and focused his ears as much as he could on the roof. He knew immediately that Ned was right but what he heard didn't make sense. He could've sworn he heard his Uncle Clint yell “Fuck!” and his Uncle Ben quickly reply, “Shh! Don't curse he'll hear you!” It took a few seconds for a reply but once it happened Peter was certain it was them. “You just kicked me in the head! What did you expect me to do?!” He heard his Uncle Clint yell out in pain. “Well I didn't expect you to curse!” Ben yelled back sounding annoyed. “Really? You didn't? Are you sure?” He heard Clint reply.

He didn't get the chance to listen in anymore thanks to the light smack to the back of his head that his friend gave him. “Dude I've been calling your name for like five minutes. You totally zoned out on me. I even threatened to say your full name.” His friend cast him a worried glance.

Peter frowned at the potential blackmail. “Ow! It hasn't even been two minutes. You're exaggerating and that's not fair since I don't know your middle name!”

“It's James. My last name is Leeds so now we're even and you know that's weird right?”

“What is?”

“Oh I don't know maybe the fact that your aunt and uncle sleep in separate rooms. It's weird and sounds like my dad. Don't worry though the only reason why I knew it was weird was because my parents used to sleep in the same room then stopped.  It sounds to me like your uncle is gay. No judgement. My dad is gay and I have a pop now. I like him more than I like my mom's new husband. Oliver is annoying. Parents can be stupid though so if your uncle is gay then you may need to set him up with someone and tell him you're okay with it.”

“Why would he need to know that I'm okay with it?”

“Dude I just said why: parents are stupid.”

“I think he might be interested in my Uncle Clint. When he comes over he always stays in Uncle Ben's room.”

“Yep he's gay and you need to set them up. It's your job as the kid but don't worry because you'll have me to help you! Oh! I forgot I have pictures of Black Widow in my backpack in class! We can look at them on the way home!" 

“Sure! I'll have to ask my aunt if you can come over first before you do though. I mean if you want to. We can just hang out at school too if you want. Sorry that was. Um.” Peter stuttered and blushed with the realization that he hadn't even asked Ned if he wanted to come over and just assumed that he did. Maybe he just wanted to be friends at school?

Ned chuckled at his friend's nervousness,“Dude it's fine. Don't have a panic attack.”

“I'm not! At least I don't think I am! Am I? I haven't had one in a while and Aunt May taught me how to get through them but sometimes my head gets fuzzy and I forget!” His breathing started getting shallow as his voice became louder with each sentence.

“Whoa calm down. I wasn't being serious.” He replied quickly just as Peter started shaking. “Okay I seriously think you are now. Peter? Peter just breathe okay? Just focus on my voice. That's it. Deep breathes. In and out buddy. Deep breathes.” Ned coaxed him through just as the bell rang.

“Are you gonna  be okay? Do we need to call your aunt?”

“No. I just need some water.” ‘My uncles would be closer anyway apparently.’ He thought. He definitely had questions when he got home. The first being why his uncles were stalking him. The obvious reason was that they wanted to make sure he was okay but they had planned this for months. Didn't they trust him?

After Peter got some water the rest of the school day was uneventful. Peter and Ned talked about games and movies that were out. Peter told Ned about his weird neighbors and his friend agreed that not knowing what a meme was was a sin and definitely weird. Ned thought they were aliens and said the fact that the other one had a strange metal arm just proved his theory. Peter listened as his friend explained that while his name was Edwin, he preferred to go by Ned since Edwin was a stupid name and he was the fifth one anyway so he thought his parents cheated.

On the bus ride home Ned showed him pictures of Black Widow and Peter had even more questions. At first he wasn't sure but then he saw her up close with her pet spider whom Peter recognized immediately. If that wasn't enough there was a picture of her drinking out of a “World's Greatest Aunt” mug which he distinctly remembered giving her for her birthday last year. If that wasn't enough the picture also had his favorite hero Hawkeye in the picture with her sitting at the same table she was outside of some restaurant. If the magazine was to be believed then the famous Black Widow’s real name was Natasha Romanov and not May Parker like she had led him to believe.

Hawkeye was his Uncle Clint which he already knew and was one of the reasons why the man was his favorite. Peter had seen a picture of him in his gear a month after the invasion happened and the man told him that yes he was there, yes he was Hawkeye, and that he was forced to do bad things but he was better now. Even though he was honest about it it didn't change the fact that both of were his uncles spying on him today.

Plus he didn't know what his Uncle Ben's name was and then there was the fact that Clint was keeping May and Ben's identities secret from him and so was also their accomplice. So he, along with May and Ben, were still lying to him. It honestly wouldn't surprise him at this point if their weird neighbors had secret identities too.

Ned didn't seem to realize he was agitated though because he kept animatedly talking about the heroes like they weren't completely rotten liars. They had probably stolen him from his real parents and raised him as their own because they were child kidnappers. At this point he didn't remember many faces from where he came from. Were they from there? He supposed he’d find out soon enough.

When they got to Ned's stop Peter told him goodbye and that he'd ask his “aunt” if he could come over this weekend to get his uncles together, because if people weren't supposed to know about him then they probably weren't supposed to know about his guardians. After Ned got off the bus though he started planning on the best way to confront them about what he just learned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks SanaTomb for beta reading!!!!!


	3. Ben: When Peter isn't around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Ben and May do while the little spider is at school.....smut ensues

He had only been at work for an hour and was already annoyed. He was trying to file the paperwork for the month and of course none of his was signed. Why would it be? They've only been going in circles about this for a good nine years now. Ben was seriously thinking about retiring just because of it! When you get done with an assignment you sign your goddamn paperwork. Honestly it wasn't that difficult… for most people.

He silently wondered if May had this much trouble with people at work. Knowing what May really did for work, the answer was probably no, or if she did then it was… handled. Ben checked his calendar to see if they had anything important going on during the next few days and saw that she had put down: the neighbor's, for tonight, which meant that she was going over there and wouldn't be back until tomorrow at some point which was fine. Ben was pretty sure she had a thing going on with them. Actually he knew she had a thing going on with them and didn't have a problem with it. He didn't ask questions since it wasn't any of his business. If she didn't want to tell anyone they were seeing each other then he most certainly wasn't going to be the one to do it. She could keep her secrets if she wanted, after all she wasn't the only one with them.

Ben leaned back into his chair and took a deep breath, then groaned because apparently he had recently invoked some god's wrath since his secret, who was also the person unable to sign their damn name on a sheet of paper each time they were done, the bane of his work life who was also known as his husband, came strolling through the door.

“That better have at least five fortune cookies and a bag of cream puffs in it.” He said as he smelled the enticing food that was most likely a bribe knowing the man it was coming from.

“Two orders of fried rice with chicken and wonton sauce along with two orders of cream puffs and ten fortune cookies.” He said with a smile on his face when Ben looked up at him.

“You forgot to sign your name… again.”

“You know that's just how I show my love!” Replied the man as he sat down the food on a stack of files.

“Every time for the past month.”

“I love you a lot?” He questioned hesitantly.

“Why all the food?” Ben replied while putting the paperwork he was working on to the side, grabbing for the food.

“I thought we'd have a date.”

Ben released a breath he hadn't known he had been holding with a long sigh, “We can't. It's Peter's first day and I wanted to…”

“...To go spy on him at school and make sure he's okay because it's his first time out without someone and you're worried he'll get hurt or freak out because something will set him off and you won't be there to help him and explain and by the time you do get there the damage will be done and you may not have a son anymore because people are monsters.” His husband replied from memory.

Ben had planned on sitting in the parking lot after checking in at work for that exact reason. Peter's spider senses went off at the most inconvenient times and were at best random or at least random for a human, because for a spider they made sense. He once freaked out over a glass falling too fast, and when Peter freaks out he typically ends up on the ceiling of whatever building he's in or on the nearest hard surface that was also vertical (because there was that one time with the tree). Even though both of them had explained to him and done drills with him to try and prevent for the small stuff, it was still a major concern, hence the stakeout.

“I just figured that if you wanted to be a responsible helicopter parent then I'd be your accomplice. So I got chinese food for two and I already set up the roof of the school with blankets and pillows so we'd be comfy. You may even call it a bird's nest.”

“Bird joke Clint? Really?” Ben said with a raised eyebrow.

“Well what else can you expect from a guy called Hawkeye. Huh Phil?” Clint replied while wagging his eyebrows.

Resisting the urge to smirk, his husband got out of his chair and started walking towards the door only pausing just before it to look back as Clint grabbed the food and replied, “At work it's Agent Coulson,” then proceeded to walk out to his car and waited for Clint to catch up. After all he could have the other man sign it all after they were done.

“Do you base everything off of Peter's age?” Clint asked once they were on the roof.

He had been explaining his latest mission and Phil had recounted that it was also the day they realized Peter couldn't stand the smell of peppermint because May had given him a piece of flavored gum, and when Peter oddly recoiled in disgust they figured it out. Actually it had taken him recoiling in disgust to May when offered a hug when they realized because Peter never turned down a hug, not then and not now.

“No, not everything. At least I don't think so. Why?”

“Alright quiz time! I'll tell you things and you give me back how you remember them if you do.”

“Really?” Phil replied with a look.

“Yep. First one! Carnival four years ago and I won you that stuffed spider.”

“Well that's easy that was when Peter lost his first tooth and thought he was dying. We got home and I gave him the spider to cheer him up, and we told him it was normal and he was just growing up. He ended up keeping it and named it Sparky, slept with it for awhile too.”

“Okay… How about two years ago when we went to Paris for a week?”

“He called me over the computer and said that his favorite show was getting canceled so he was quitting tv. He hasn't stuck to it by the way. Only took him four days to cave due to boredom.”

“Our wedding?”

“Two years before we got Peter.”

“Aw come on!!”

“What?! We've been married for seven years and I've had Peter for five it's an easy point of reference for both!”

“Fine. I know how much the kid means to you so I guess slotting me with him isn't so bad.”

“Don't act like you don't love him Uncle Clint.”

“Course I love the little web head. Love you too.” Clint said just before pulling his husband into a kiss.

“When was the last time we've been alone?” He asked after pulling away.

“We were just in my office you goof. Although if you mean alone alone then two weeks ago. Why?”

“Well because it's a good thing Peter didn't get enhanced vision. I say we take advantage of this opportunity and do something if you catch my drift.”

Clint started kissing down his husband's neck while reaching to unbutton his shirt. Said husband was stunned. ‘Did Clint really think anything was going to happen here? They were on the roof of a school for Christ's sake. Although they were alone. No Phil, wrong! There were children around who could hear things. Oh, but he had missed this.’ He thought just as Clint was somehow done with his shirt and was laying him down on the cushions.

“Hey do you think she has a thing going on with them?” He heard through the haze in his head.

“What?” He asked dumbly, not quite trusting his ears. Especially since the other man was supposed to be doing things to him. He couldn't have heard right could he? He thought only open his eyes that had closed at one point to see his husband looking earnestly at him.

“Are you serious? Yes she has a thing with them. Why are you? Ugh. Why did you stop? This is already a bad idea.” He stammered out.

“Really? Since when?” Clint asked genuinely curious, ignoring his husband's plea.

“Since our wedding. Now can you please continue before I rationalize this!” He replied in a clipped tone.

“Of course, Mister Bossy.” Clint replied with another smirk.

Phil let his head fall back on the ample pillows and blankets they were laying on. It really was set up like a bird nest. He couldn't fathom how Clint had managed it though but after seven years of marriage he had learned to not underestimate his husband when it came to somehow making a bird joke. Peter was just as bad with his spider jokes and it was a direct reflection on just how much time the two spent together. Next to “Ben” and “May” the only other adult he hung out with was Clint and he was the kid's favorite out of all three.

They had heard the boy say so multiple times even when the man wasn't there. Their neighbors watched him sometimes when all three had work together but they were more like babysitters. Not that they wouldn't be in the boy's life more often if they could. As it happened both Clint and Phil had no issues with them taking a more paternal role. Unfortunately for the neighbors though their opinions on the subject paled in comparison to hers. From the start it was agreed that May would be the main parent in the boy's life and everyone else would fall in line accordingly. She had more or less said so when she propositioned them to help raise him. Since Clint didn't really want to be a parent at the time and had a different image to keep up with he had opted to just be the child's fun uncle and left the parenting to them. Phil had moved in with May soon after that and agreed they would be May and Ben around Peter and themselves when not.

‘How exactly can this be so wrong and yet feel so good at the same time?’ He thought as he was jolted from his thoughts due to a nip to his navel. ‘Oh god look at him. How can someone go from talking, back to this and look that good all at the same time? It should be illegal.’ ‘It's not like anyone will hear us.’ He thought contently just as a moan escaped his lips.

‘Kids can't hear very well over other things anyway, and they are all learning things right now. Teachers are talking and they are all paying attention. They wouldn't hear anything. Except there was something he came here for. Why was he here? Oh right. He was spying on Peter. Oh shit. Most people may not be able to but Peter could and it wasn't like he could turn it off either. Peter would hear them. Fuck.’ Phil kicked Clint in the head just as he was about to remove his underwear. When had he gotten the other things off was beyond him. Probably while he was thinking things over and too occupied with his thoughts to realize. Definitely that.

“Fuck!” Clint yelled as the kick landed.

“Shh! Don't curse he'll hear you!” Phil said while hastily putting on his shirt.

“You just kicked me in the head! What did you expect me to do?!”

“Well I didn't expect you to curse!” He said while standing up to pull his pants back on.

“Really? You didn't? Are you sure?” Clint replied while rubbing his head.

“Also quick question: What are you doing? I liked where that was going before the rude kick to my head. Can we go back to that?”

“That was two questions. When did you take off your shirt? Nevermind. Multiple reasons. The first one being this is illegal! Plus he'll hear so shut up or at least quiet down.”

“Who will? Oh fuck. You don't think he heard do you? I mean... You were kinda focused on being in your own world for a bit and then you… Well… Fuck, he signals in on weird things and he definitely heard that. Shit. Okay what's the plan?” He said as he grabbed his own shirt.

“Nothing. We leave. Now. Clean up and go to our place so we can put the mood back in this because now I'm horny!”

“You're welcome.” Clint replied with a smirk as he started gathering pillows and blankets.

__________________________________________________________

**May: When Peter isn't around II**

May couldn't believe that five years had already passed since she took in Peter. She had never wanted to be a mom. She was just too damaged in her opinion. Of course if you asked her boys what they thought or said it to them, then you'd have a very stern talking to. The years had passed like nothing and it was calm days like this that made her remember how they came to be a small family.

She had been the one to rescue him. The contact had somehow managed to get out of the cult with him, to this day the details of how that happened were sketchy at best, and she entrusted Peter to her because she refused to say who the boy's father was. It was her assignment to get the contact out, which she did, and then the stupid idiot thought she could get more information and went back in only to die later on. She supposed that she should feel bad that she didn’t feel anything towards the woman's death, but she had never been great with her feelings.

She had gotten Peter from the contact and then realized she couldn't raise him herself because her life was dangerous and if people found out what he could do then they would take him, so she changed her name, used a different accent, bought a brown wig and a house in Brooklyn. After that she had gotten in contact with her friend Clint and his husband had volunteered to help raise Peter and deter their boss from finding out they were raising a kid with spider abilities. It wasn't easy and took extreme managing, as well as Clint covering for them.

Their boss thinks Clint is actually raising a perfectly normal Peter on his big farm with his wife and kids that he’s managed to convince everyone he has. When in reality the woman who is his “wife” is actually a previous target of theirs. They were in Budapest where they were supposed to be disposing of radical mutants that wanted to take over humanity. His now fake wife’s name was Sasha and was a victim of their target. She used to be able to replicate anything she touched if she wanted to, at least that was until her power was taken from her by her own leader. The kids Clint claimed were his were also previous mutants. One was able to read minds, one teleported and the other was a fire starter.

After the mission, Clint had brought them all back to get homes but their boss had wanted them to be eliminated to tie up loose ends. They both refused and a deal was struck that they could stay if they were isolated in case their powers returned, so Clint bought the land and the house, created a sustainable farm and sent money their way whenever they needed it, and visited once in awhile. While they were grateful for his help, everyone involved thought it would be better if they faded into the background, so they were kept off the books with the stipulation that Clint get married to the woman for protection. When he wasn't with them, Clint was in his apartment that he had in Brooklyn, going on missions or waiting for his husband to visit since she had accidentally taken him away.

When May wasn't doing anything important, also known as parenting Peter, she was spending time at the neighbor's. It had taken a while to hash out the details but they had finally come to an agreement at Clint's wedding. So on days like these she took off her brown wig, dropped the accent, took a deep breath and went into the house that she was slowly starting to call home because it had them in it. She fell in love with one but knew that he was in love with the other. The problem was that she didn't want to be with both of them, just him.

“Hey Nat. You staying the night?” A voice said from the couch in front of the tv in the living room.

“Yep. Already planned it out. I just want to sit for a bit though.” She said as she walked up to the couch and fell into the man's lap.

“Okay. He isn't here right now anyway so we can watch a movie if you want?” He said while combing his fingers through her real hair.

“Mmm, sounds good. I'll probably fall asleep though.” With her eyes already feeling droopy she heard a light chuckle from behind her.

“Okay, sounds good. I can watch it myself then and wait for him.” The man replied.

Their agreement and the reason why she chose to raise Peter in Brooklyn was because of them. She was in love with Bucky but knew he was in love with Steve so she was set to just ignore her feelings, but in a drunk haze one night she had accidentally told Steve, which resulted in him avoiding them both. Finally, on the night of Clint and Phil's wedding, Steve and Bucky had come to her and they talked. Steve explained that he didn't feel that type of love for her and that he wanted to be friends only, which she agreed wholeheartedly on, but was okay with Bucky and Nat seeing each other as long as he was able to join in sometimes, because while he didn't love her Bucky did, and Steve could never say no to him. So Steve and Nat were friends while they were both Bucky's lovers and that was just fine with her. She felt like she was home when she was around Steve just as much as she felt it with Bucky but in a different way, and if raising Peter had taught her anything it was that different wasn't always so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Slowquicksilver for beta reading!!!
> 
> Two chapters in one day!! Woo!!  
> How'd y'all like that reveal??
> 
> Also the next chapter continues where two ended so major angst....

**Author's Note:**

> Author notes::
> 
> Spider voices will always be bold and set like so:  
>  **/Harry/**  
>  **~Lyla~**  
>  **(Piper)**  
>  **[TBA]**
> 
> Thank you for your assistance my lovely beta readers:  
>  Slowquicksilver,  SanaTomb and  Noshallowend.
> 
> Also this fic was a request on the spideypool discord I'm apart of called:  Isn't it Bromantic? (18+) if you want to hop over and join us then be my guest!!!


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